So much of my illness was IV treatments.

 

So many days of my life were spent sitting in cold rooms with oxygen tanks nearby, paper covered pillows, butterfly needles taped to skin, and fluids dripping slowly.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

Keeping tabs with the second hand on the clock in the room, and the seconds of my life that were slowly ticking away.

I once described these treatments as:

“My lifeline & the cause of my prayers for the end. My only source of hope & my daily death. My living quarter & my casket 2x a week for months on end.”

Week in and week out, they brought so much pain and not much hope, and yet I had nowhere else to go, I had nothing else to try. So I kept coming back.

And although I sat in different chairs of different rooms at different doctors offices for more than 45 IV treatments, they all had this “sameness” about them.

I felt alone, afraid, confused; desperate and hopeless in my wilting body ravished with pain. It felt cruel that I was asked to remain.

And so my years of painful existence feel summed up in some way when I think of these endless hours spent in cold rooms watching that fluid drip.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

I’m so grateful that it’s been over 5 years since my last IV treatment, and yet I’m still so aware and so sensitive to those who sit in similar chairs, in similar rooms.

So you can imagine the utter emotion I felt when I unexpectedly received this photo from a friend, who was sitting in a cold room undergoing an IV treatment as she held “Sacred Wounds."

This photo is one of the greatest gifts I've ever received.

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​And she sent me these words:

“One of the reasons the Holy Spirit had you write this book… this book is to accompany people like me.”

This friend had no idea how significant IV treatments were to me.

This is the restoration of the Lord!

Somehow - through the pure and utter grace that saturates my story and yours - others sitting in these same cold rooms will not feel so alone. They will know they are accompanied in their pain, and they will hear the truth that there is great hope in being asked to remain.

This photo helps me to know that all along, accompanying each drop of IV fluid, was His unending grace that changes everything.

Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip.

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Written May 27, 2023

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